People who control their partners are not always aggressive or violent.
One of the first signs of a controlling person in a relationship is that the partner tries to isolate their partner from family and friends.
In can start in quite a small way by them complaining how often or how long you talk to your relatives or friends, or how often you visit them or go out with them.
They will try and turn you against your family or one particular person if you are close to them.
The object is to get you in a position so that you don’t have any one to back you up or turn to and that you rely on them only.
They will try and get you to be totally dependent on them emotionally.
You will lose confidence in yourself if you stay with them and you will even think that it is your fault that there is a problem and that is one of their aims.
They will criticize you in a small way at first; it might be, if you lost some weight and wore such and such, I would fancy you a lot more, that kind of thing.
It happens to people across the board from highly educated to no education, we are all a target for the controller.
It does not matter how intelligent you are or how much money you have the controller can relentlessly target you, till he or she gets what they want.
What they want is total control of you.
I once new a lady who if she met a friend for coffee for instance, he would send relentless texts to her till she came home, and in the end she gave up going out! That’s how bad it can get.
They spy on you what ever you are doing.
They want a minute-by-minute account of what you were doing if you just went out for a loaf of bread, and God help you if you took longer than they thought you should off.
They go through your phone, as they don’t trust you.
They make you feel guilty and nervous.
At worse they can be threatening and abusive and violent.
So if you see any of these signs in a new relationship, run for the hills. If you are already in a controlling relationship, seek help there is plenty out there.
